because fireworks wake
me up pre-dawn,
Quetzalcoatl shimmering through
sky window, these
fireworks sound like
gunfire, someone's
died, left the body,
someone beloved, they
explode, they weep
for two hours, through
the day, and no
one calls the police, every
one understands some
one's left their body, some
one beloved is gone. I
dream through explosions,
wake to loud joyous
mariachis in the distance,
a marriage, family gathering,
I live in Mexico
because death and
life hold hands
dancing, singing, exploding
with grief and joy-
I live in Mexico
because every car stops
for the funeral procession,
a singer/guitarist sings
the beloved's favorite
songs on the way to
the cemetery, where
families will gather, Dia
de Los Muertos, to
welcome their tender Spirits
home, from babies to
elders, a feast on the
graves they decorate,
joy/sorrow equally,
beauty, song, candles,
tiny stars flicker all
night long as Spirits
come to taste tamales,
tacitos, tequila, cerveza,
fresh limes, oranges,
sweet cakes, where
the father of his Spirit
teen, grave decorated with
little cars, dancing
muertos, bottles of
empty Victorias (his
favorite), some full,
proudly shows me his
handsome boy, I can't
weep, his smile of
pure joy-
I drove to Mexico
in spring 2005, the
fear color codes of
my country, endless
wars on some enemy,
my dreams filled with
mourning women, holding
Spirit sons, daughters,
only sorrow, only grief,
no graves of marigolds,
feasts, sorrow/joy,
death holding hands
with life, dancing, singing,
weeping, exploding
pre-dawn journey of
the beloved, all day
into the night, mariachis
leading a wedding party to
more joy, holding hands
with life death life-
I live in Mexico
to remember,
to witness
simple human
joy sorrow joy,
those without my
country's great entitlements,
the leaders, the shameless
1% who would haul
off the mourner with
explosive weeping, singing,
who allow one in five
children in my country to
be hungry, who prefer
the poor to die (very)
quickly, while mouthing
how much they love their
country, care for its people,
send the neediest young to
kill/die for their oil wars,
want to control the
sacred wombs of women,
the constant enemy,
the constant fear,
unhinging our young, our
unbonded to our Mother
Earth young, bringing
automatic weapons to
schools, universities,
playgrounds, now
theaters where the masses
go to dream, the manufactured
dream of Holly Wood,
dream, all humans need to
dream, many have forgotten
how to dream, vision-
I live in Mexico
because a Huichol family
in full brilliant rainbow
dress motioned me in front
of them, the market, I
thanked them but no, their
rainbow smiles insisted,
and the woman helped
me unload my full
cart, their few carefully
selected items waited, she
smiled her rainbows, I
smiled mine, "Gracias,
gracias, gracias,"
I kept saying, why
I live in Mexico.
I live in Mexico to feel
full sun on my face,
full moon light/shadow,
Quetzalcoatl's radiance.
San Miguel de Allende, Mexico- July 2012
Alma Luz Villanueva
